Freewriting

[16 July 2025]

Waking again to growing silence that consumes and consumes, eating away at what is left of my personhood. I am too tired to fight the inevitable extinguishing of my desire to go on. I want to lay down and feel warm today. I want the sun to seep into my bones. Perhaps tonight I will not drink. Perhaps tonight I will simply feel the warm breeze from my open window and let it become my breath. Tonight is full of possibility and madness. I will imagine a new mythology for myself, begin again with a new name and new dreams that will not wither or decay. Pleasure will be mine to hold. My arms will never grow tired. I will raise my hopes above my head and declare them mine, all mine. I will go on. I must go on.